Oh Dear – say no more

Review for Castle Carvery (Clock Tower)

Oh dear! Where do I start… I would like to have something positive to say about this “dining experience”, so here it is – it’s cheap and there’s lots of it. Quite frankly, its also prettty grim. The whole event reminded me of the “Star Wars bar”, with so many different forms of life and their apparent offspring running (and I mean running) around it was bewildering. Against my better judgement I was press-ganged into visiting this establishment by friends (I’ve since disowned them), as they said that there daughter could play in safety in the chldrens area while we ate dinner. Fair enough, I thought. At that point I didn’t realise that the childrens’ area included the bar, the toilets, the dining area (particularly under the tables) as well as an outside play park. In truth, I expected little, but still left bitterly disappointed. I did expect to be able to use English to tell the barstaff my requirements – apparently I was in the “Star Wars bar”! In a nutshell it was a basic carvery with three roast meats available, served by the “chef” (I use the term loosely). Yorkshire puddings (Aunt Bessie’s?) were served with everything (why?) and vast quantities of vegetables were available in the heated dishes to help yourself to, with the obligatory glutinous gravy. The meat I chose (beef) was pretty tasteless, overcooked and contained more fat than my doctor would have advised. The roast potatoes were slightly crispy-brown on one side, covered in grease and both soggy and tasteless (apart from the grease). The vegatables were clearly not fresh (at least not recently fresh) and all tasted similar, or was it the gravy, that was so characterless it may have been made from juices from all of the roasts and a good helping of cornflour/bisto/etc. Frankly, it was rubbish. Normally I would have complained, but I just wanted to get out of there. Unless you are a Star Wars fan, my advice is give it a wide berth.